Blessings of the Evergreens
It was a couple days before the end of 2021, beginning of 2022 and I walked into the woods, keeping my promise to myself to do so every day...
But I was feeling uncomfortable inside as I walked; my mind was going around and over the things that were upsetting me. I stopped at a beautiful white pine tree – the tree of Peace, trying to connect with the essence of the moment, to be present. Yet it still wasn’t working. I stood there waiting to see if my mind would ever get quiet. It resisted this notion 100% as minds are wont to do.
I was feeling hurt by one person’s lack of acknowledgement that seemed to invalidate me, and I was mad at another person for using their position to keep me from someone they knew I longed to see, someone I wanted to apologize to, to attempt to heal something that had happened between us. I tried to stop my swirling, judging mind, to talk myself out of these feelings and find equanimity. It wasn’t working yet. I was thinking about how unfair they both were. How hurtful and unkind they were being, “after all I’ve done for you” sort of script. They were just wrong! That was my truth. I couldn’t get past it yet. I was also digesting some difficult news, a dear friend of mine had just been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer.
Finally, gently brushing my face with the soft pine needles at the ends of the branches I asked myself, or maybe it was pine, Robin, what do you really want? What is truly important to you? It seemed to take forever, but finally my answer came, and it was authentic. I want peace. Inside myself. I want freedom. Inside myself. I want to feel peace and freedom inside myself more than anything, just like I’ve always wanted. Well, I asked myself, or maybe it was Pine, are you willing to put that ahead of being “right”? Are you willing to let go of your story of how people are supposed to be? About what is and isn’t supposed to happen? And by the grace of pine, aiding my sincere efforts, I finally was able to let go. I felt uplifted. Quiet. Calm. I texted a picture of the young pine tree to my dear friend. It is so good to feel peaceful and free inside myself. And it is the best place from which to approach others I want to address challenging things with.
Walking in the woods is so healing for me, even if I don’t get out until dusk some days. And as I replenish myself, I begin to overflow with what I want to share with others, the gift of wonder and aliveness, of joy and optimism that feeling connected with the Earth brings to and through me.
White pine is also delicious to inhale, drink, bathe in, anoint yourself with, or dress your salads with!